12.7.07

Mean Girls



Call me bitter but growing up I've realized that some things do not change much from High School. There are still cliques, and there is still the craving to be accepted by the "cool people". Getting older you figure out different ways to prey on the weak whether it be soccer moms ganging up on someone whose still childless or not being invited to the annual neighborhood BBQ down the street. It may not be the same as the petty things we dealt with like not sitting next to someone at the lunch table but it still hurts the same. As the years progress though--we just have more things to distract us and for this reason its easier to bounce back and forget about the hurtful actions of others. Either this or its true what they say that the older you get the wiser you become.

I have often wondered why the never ending quest to be associated with popular people. I think its down to the primal urge of survival of the fittest. If the weak in the pack shadow the strong--maybe their status will improve and they will one day emerge the leader. I believe this is why many people refuse to even speak to or acknowledge those that are deemed "weak" in any way---it does not benefit or improve their social standing.

Anyway--I'll never understand the psychology surrounding people sometimes. Although I believe people are generally good--I just think they forget whats important. Even if some things dont change from high school I do think as you get older more are willing to step out of that "mean girl" phase and help those that may be trailing behind. People are generally good in my opinion and whether you are 30 or 84 you eventually figure stuff like this out.

6 comments:

sherrie said...

it's so true - you find people like that at any age and in any place. i can't say i'm guiltless though, in highschool i think most people regret a lot of things and the way they were and treated people. if i could go back and just know what i know now i would have done a lot different. but i guess that has in part helped me become who i am today. i wouldn't say i was a "mean girl" but i could've reached out more to people. that's one BIG regret i'll always have.

Celestia said...

I am finally starting to comment on peoples blogs! It is so true. I was the biggest geek in band at the beginning of high school and a cheerleader at the end and it was amazing how people who seemed to hate me before suddenly wanted to be my best friend when I became a cheerleader. I actually own this this movie, I bought it without watching it, but it turned out to be pretty good. Some people never grow up even after high school, but those type of people won't truly be happy because they block out people who could potentially touch their life in a positive way in favor of superficial relationships based on status or looks. Even now I am affected by high school, I feel insecure if I don't look perfect or have the right clothes, which is all the time right now. I have to break out of that feeling and just be happy with who I am right now on the inside.

Elizabeth C said...

It's interesting how people say that even at your 10 year reunion at High School, people still think it is important to be popular. It is interesting how some people have this need to feel important and included in the popular group, even as an adult, and feel the need to exclude others. I think that it is just a lack of maturity and self esteem, because if you know who you are, and you have grown up, you don't feel the need to make others feel excluded, you want to include others and be kind to everyone.

bean said...

Christine - Yes, I know Scott well and our parents are good friends. I also know Sukwan from church in Seattle. She is fantastic! She is really a wonderful, wonderful person and they are both lucky to have each other. They are so adorable together! Will you be able to make it back for the wedding??

Angela said...

I totally agree. After I left high school, I was so happy to get out of there. Then I realized that real life had the same issues, same immature people. How annoying! It is funny how life patterns itself and you find yourself learning lessons over and over again. In both high school and adult life, I started by trying to impress people and was not happy at all. It was when I stopped caring and was myself, that I was truly happy. Bottomline, I agree with you, some people never grow up. How sad for them.

Anonymous said...

Dear Christine,
Okay, so I'm an old lady and not even in the running for popular. I was the nerdy one in high school who could never afford to dress cute. I decided at about 13 that if I couldn't be cute, I'd learn how to be elegant because that takes skill, not just money. And over the years that's been a good decision. I've also found that if you move you can reinvent yourself. And that most people really are willing to like you. I have more friends now in my 50's than I ever had in high school. I have friends ranging from former beauty queens 15 years younger to retired women 20 years older. And I truly don't care. It all just matters less and less as we grow older. Aging is really great in ways you never expected! And I was shocked one day a couple of years ago when I visited my oncologist (cancer doctor) for a check-up to find all the office ladies and nurses were excited to see me because I was one of their favorites. So, I say, go ahead. Be as friendly and honest and compassionate as you'd like others to be. It makes your world better, and propably will make somebody else's day, too.
Auntie G.