the old & new

images via polanoid

we've been hit by a huge cold streak this week. temperatures reaching close to -10C/14F in most of the country. lakes have frozen, even the trafalgar square fountains have froze. we've had our first snow this year and beautiful frost that gives everything such a magical feel. my partner james tells me that this time of year is necessary {the cold} in order to prepare the ground for new life in spring. the cold killing off bacteria, everything shedding their leaves & skin so to speak--downsizing to prepare for their yearly rebirth.

in my own life--i kind feel like after a very long cold winter, i'm finally getting a chance to shed the old me and embark on endless possibilities. this week i was offered an internship in the music industry at a very big artist management agency here in london. its not a permanent job and only for 3 months, but its an opportunity, a chance to nourish my creativity again and feel like i'm progressing. although i have no idea what the rest of the year will bring--i'm ok with this because i'm so grateful that after two years of so many walls put up, finally a little door has opened up for me---little old me!!! so i'm going to enjoy the ride one day at a time and see where it takes me.

because of my internship i had to say goodbye to my yoga teacher today as well. yoga has been a gift to me these last 2 years-something that has sustained me, helped me to reconnect with myself & has planted seeds of desire to learn to love me again. who knows if i may see my yoga teacher again in a couple of months when my internship ends but i couldn't leave today without at least saying thank you for what he has given to me.

i said hello to a new season/series of oprah oprah this week too. on monday she talked about her weight loss struggle and most things that she said really resonated to the point i was in tears. she said weight loss is about truly loving yourself again and finding out what you are really hungry for. the entire show was very much what i needed to hear at the exact moment in time and i'm grateful for her inspiration & strength of example to me--particularly because of my own weight battles. i'm going to do my best to love myself in 2009, embrace my body for what it gives to me daily and hopefully become healthy physically where i need to be to allow my body to help me to live my best life.

so as i embark on the' new' and shed the old these next few weeks i reflect back and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the experiences i have been given. they say that every person you meet (the yoga teachers, even the oprah show), every experience you have is exactly what you need at the exact moment to grow, to teach or to learn. true joy is not possible without pain and i understand now that every moment i've felt such frustration & hopelessness these last two years was a lesson--a lesson to prepare me for this moment in time today where i feel such palpable exuberation & joy. so universe/god thank you---thank you for these gifts, thank for constantly teaching me and helping me to progress even when i think otherwise.


Liz said...

It seems like so many people I know are experiencing new opportunities and the possibility of better times in 2009, and it looks like you are one of them too! Good luck with the internship and everything else, and I hope the doors keep opening for you this year!

miranda featherstone said...

What a beautiful post. I also wish you good luck with this new opportunity. I often think of your first email to me when we were strangers. Do you remember it? It was about volunteering for the campaign. Your wrote:

I'd like to volunteer. Where do I go, and when?

That spirit, so simple and so sincere, will get you anywhere in life you want to go. I hope this isn't the last you'll see of your yoga teacher: I hope you'll be able to juggle a successful PAYING job with some great yoga classes!

(this will come thru as Miranda Featherstone - long story - but it's really Jill Adams)

Lori Ann said...

Hooray for you! Good luck with the internship and hopefully you can fit yoga in sometime since it has been such a good thing in your life. Enjoy the joy of this moment!

Anonymous said...

Have you considered a yoga DVD? At least you could keep going so you don't lose all you've gained.

I agree. Beautiful post. I salute your glorious spirit! You will succeed.
Aunt Gail