17.2.09

the politics of working in london

so, i've been at my internship for nearly a month now---its been a huge adjustment to say the least. two years of not working full time, not taking the tube {subway} and then thrust back into 38 hours of stress and high expectations each week. plus--to top it off the chronic pain i deal with has sky rocketed and my the other symptoms have just gone plain wacky. i have no doubt its because my stress levels have gone into overdrive and my body is screaming to slow down.

i'm doing everything possible to manage things--packing my bag with what would seem like a medical kit for a small country. loads of pain relief, other neccessary supplies {for extra difficult monthly rituals that last two very long weeks??????} and every day drowning myself in chamomile & green tea, morning meditation @ 5:30 a.m. and yoga and relaxation time in the evenings. i'm also trying to write in my diary and work in networking/socializing with various people at work in an effort to get my name out & at least try not to appear like i'm a complete social twat.

well besides all this---i'm really enjoying myself, well at least trying to. i really love the work i'm doing and even though its hard sometimes i feel like i'm nourishing 'the real me'---the creative me. every day i want to go in and i can't tell you the last time i wanted to go in each day to a job.

i know that i have a bit longer at this internship before i have to worry about trying to find work but part of me is quite nervous about when this time comes--which is to be expected considering my experiences. i love london and once you get a job its fantastic and looks amazing on the ole resume--but getting it can be a problem. not everywhere is like this, but i think there's a common theme that employers sometimes hire people not out of qualifications but for social reasons---whether you dress & look a certain way, are young and will fit into the office environment. its hard not to take it personally when you've applied for 150+ jobs with no luck. i guess its a real lesson in believing in yourself and remembering the saying about being in the right place at the right time eh? this and visualizing success + telling yourself you deserve every bit of it.

so onward and upward, i'm just going to take one day at a time--whatever happens happens and in the mean time i've still got an amazing experience i get to go to every day for another two months!

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