11.9.09

Listening for Life Lessons

I find it funny how when the universe REALLY wants you to learn certain things it avoids the subtle approach and pretty much smacks you side of the head. Well that's been happening to me a lot this week, full head on 'You need to hear this whether you want to or not' life lessons and all. Lucky for me I had decided to pull my fingers out of my ears and listen otherwise I would have seriously missed out on some amazing little whispers.

First up...Relationships.. This week in my Mondo Beyondo class a discussion was started on relationship trouble (hello good timing?). It was so nice to know I'm not the only one ever that has had troubles like this. The discussion shared this great article and one contributor in particular made a comment that resonated with me greatly-

"I have learned in my own life that often when I feel most unhappy in my {relationship}, I am probably feeling pretty much the same about and within myself; thus, when I began to be noticing everything he does that makes me nuts and announce changes he really out to be making"

I knew I've had a lot to deal with in the relationship department but I never thought that maybe how rubbish I've been feeling about myself and allowing my own personal life to get out of control could maybe be contributing more to relationship problems than I thought?? I am glad that James and I are having this break which has made me realize how much I need to focus on getting ME in order and let James do his own thing. I have been neglecting ME forever and until I can fix ME I'll never be able to give fully to my relationship.

Finally: FEAR...again in my Mondo Beyondo class this wk I was inspired by an interview with the author of the wishing year where they talked about how she (Jen) wrote all her fears on rocks and then dumped them into a stream. It was sooo symbolic of how Fears can weigh us down.

I do feel that Fear has been getting in the way of my life for too long. I know that its impossible to NOT have it, but I let it permeate everything and I have to stop this. Its sucking my energies and my dreams and until I can deal with it better its really preventing me from living my best life.

I also read this week about Fear in the latest O magazine...The issue was on real power (nothing to do with money or posessions) when it comes to women. I read an article by Martha Beck talking about this where she said,

"Real Power is usually unspectacular, a simple setting aside of fear that allows the free flow of love. But it changes everything."

I want that in my life---the free flow of love. I am determined from this day forward to feel the fear and do it anyway and to never let fear inhibit me from anything again. To start things off right...I decided to do my own fear rocks. I wrote all my fears on rocks and you can see what a big little pile there is:


I then chucked them all into a nearby stream next to our house:


I know this is not the end of my fears but a new beginning...one where I don't let fears inhibit me from being my best self and letting out the real me!

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