Saying Goodbye

About 11 years ago my older brother Spencer left for a 'mission' for my family's church.  He was never able to complete it because had a mental breakdown.  When he came back he was a completely different person...not my older brother anymore.  My parents tried to get him a life but it never really came together.  One day about a year after he had got home he got up and left and we haven't seen him since.  We don't know what happened to him....don't know if he's alive, where he is...if he's ok, etc.  Its been 10 years this year since he disappeared.

On Saturday we had a memorial service for him to try to bring some sort of closure to this situation.  This was why I came to the states and flew an ungodly long time all the way from London to be able to say goodbye to my older brother. 

Earlier in the day Saturday morning I had done a very long meditation session, nearly an hour.  About 1/2 way through it I got the most powerful message that Spencer was ok.  Call it god, the universe, Spencer speaking to me from the other side or whatever but I suddenly had a great deal of peace about my brother.  It was incredible. 

The service was long, a bit emotional but fitting to my brother.  I also finally got to meet my niece and nephew for the first time and my sister in law (a little earlier in the day).  Saw extended family that I haven't seen in over 10 years as well. It was strange, a teeny bit awkward but I think good for me.  Sometimes family can be a real pain in the arse, but sometimes they can be healing too.  I think Saturday, I had a chance to have a little healing and I was very very grateful for that.  Everything is for a reason and maybe that's why I'm here.

We're off today to Pacific beach all of us.  We had the hard part on Saturday and now we're off for a bit of fun.  Should be good.  I always love nature and the ocean.  I'm looking forward to taking lots of pictures too.  I will post again hopefully when I return. 

Pictures for August Break


Jude said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this and so touched by what you wrote. We had close family friends who experienced something almost identical - I'm sending lots of good wishes and thoughts your way.

Sydney Shop Girl said...

Hi Christine
Thanks for sharing such a private and intense moment with us.

Take care and I hope the rest of your visit is fulfilling too.

SSG xxx

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

I am so sorry that your family has had to endure that struggle! I cannot imagine the stress of not knowing. But I am so happy that you were able to finally find peace and say goodbye in a fitting way.

Mom/Mum said...

Dear Christine,

Thanks for sharing your precious pictures and tender feelings about Spencer. So very glad we all had this special time together.