As you can see I've been pretty absent recently from the blogging world. Any energy I've had I've put it into Scentsy and to keeping my head together. Its been hard to do that frankly because I feel as if sometimes no matter how hard I try, how much effort I put in....I just can't seem to change things. I see others who try 1/2 as hard as I do (well it seems) and progressing further and quicker. I don't understand why it seems so difficult for myself to earn a bit of money. Getting a job and my name doesn't seem to add up together. I've been trying to do photography and the whole Scentsy thing which I do both love....but they are both moving at such a snails pace. Its hard to not get impatient and incredibly incredibly depressed. Things with James have been really difficult to deal with with his alcoholism and all the stress has made me just completely shut down some days. I keep thinking...I don't know where or how to ask for help...but the truth of the matter is only I can help myself. I think this is whats the most painful because I'm trying to help myself and its just going SOOOOOO slowly. They say don't do the same things otherwise you won't change things...what if you've only got these same things as options...and everything else is off the table? I think honestly at this point the only thing I can do is fix myself on the inside....get stronger and do everything I can to keep my head together and just wait out all this stress. Things eventually have to get better don't they? I know readers of this blog get tired of hearing about all the problems I have and can't fix...but frankly this is what my life is at the moment ya know?
Anyway....I really want to be writing more and focusing on the life I want to live instead of this life I don't want to have. I really want to be taking more pictures....although I do Scentsy and enjoy it....I still need my creative bucket to keep me going.