Well I cant believe how long its been since I last posted.
Where to even begin filling in the blanks??? This last year was HARD but I've survived.
I accomplished things I didnt expect and I didnt accomplish things I really really wanted to. I worked hard to keep my head above water and some days felt like drowning. I travelled a lot....Dublin, Paris and the Mediterranean thanks to Scentsy.
I am still with my partner James. He's not well due to the evil of alcoholism and continues with each day getting less and less like the best friend I knew. I've seen him struggle more than anyone I ever have in my entire life and its pushed me to my limits emotionally, physically and spiritually. Its been a huge blessing in some ways though because my heart and strength have grown ten fold and I've begun on a path to find the real me and have learned about unconditional love. I'm not sure how his body has tolerated what it has but it puts me at awe at what amazing creations our bodies truly are.
I worked so hard to try to make changes this last year with this but sometimes the universe has other plans. I know so many people dont understand why I've stayed, but they dont seem to understand that its not so easy to leave. You need the basics: food, shelter and I cannot put myself at risk for homelessness. Its not so easy to find work either when you've been unemployed and people look at your resume and wonder what's wrong with you. You need a job to get a job and that's an obstacle that I wasnt able to conquer this last year.
I do do Scentsy and its made HUGE leaps this last year including earning a free vacation to Greece this coming May and its SOMETHING for myself and during the summer/Autumn I was able to contribute quite a lot and buy groceries, etc. As with any business though it takes time to build and I'm not able to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world based on Scentsy money alone.
I've stayed up many nights trying to figure out what I can do to fix all of this. I cant fix James and I've done a lot to let this go and let my 'Higher Power' take control of this. Yes it most definitely affects me but through prayer and faith and working on myself to make myself stronger I've been able to limit the damage of everything. The job thing.....I have no clue and continue to pray about it. I believe Maya Angelou said once that If you dont like your life change it, if you cant change it change yourself which is what I'm doing. I'm doing everything possible I can to fix ME. I have no choice but to trust God will put things in my path and that God has a bigger dream for me because otherwise it seems to much to handle otherwise.
I've thought about writing down my story and using this whole thing to try to lift up others in some way. I've had thoughts about doing this for a while but never felt very good at writing.
Anyway.....I'm hoping to connect more here again. I've created a new blog just for my most favourite pictures. There will still be pictures here but my personal all time most favourite pics will be on this page. There will also be an option to order something. It means that if you would like to help me in some way you can. x