Duck Love

meet our neighbors 'george & mildred'. they are two 'resident' ducks that are always lounging around brookmill park {5 min walk from our flat}. you can always guarantee that when you see one, the other will be not far behind--they are literally inseparable {talk about true 'duck' love}. they don't do much besides sit there next to the lake, soaking up the rays & gorging on free fish right there & food from the locals {what a life eh?}. they do seem to be getting on in years as george's beak has faded & his feathers are everywhere & mildred just sleeps all the time. but we love them anyway & we always make a special attempt to stop by & see our fair feathered 'retired friends' when we go running or walking. I would love to live out my last few years like they do, wouldn't you? Just check out their set-up:

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ode to our washing machine

washing. by djbass

6 weeks ago you left us for no reason
without explanations
or finishing the job.

oh how we miss thee dear washer
the clean socks
the fresh spring scent.

you seem determined to stay broken forever
even after people have tried to fix you
& paying them too much money.

we promise if you won't die
we'll be more gentle,
we'll talk nice,
won't hit,
we'll stop seeing the other washers,
will feed you good soap,
& only put you on spin once, not twice a day.

we love you dear washer
come back to us soon
we need our clean clothes,
we need you.

i'm not a mommy blogger

so i'm 32 years old and i'm not a mommy blogger or even a soon to be one. don't get me wrong i frequently stop by many that would fit into this type of thing { my favorites: *e*, pioneer woman & marta writes}. i enjoy reading about people's expected new arrivals, how their little ones lost a tooth or even mundane things like what a kid did or didn't eat for breakfast or how they just recently went through potty training. i like reading these {including many non mommy blogs too} cause yes, don't laugh- i enjoy reading about 'life' & i feel connected to the 'journey' others are taking {ya-da, ya-da} . but i guess part of me has felt bad sometimes when i'm reading about 'susie' learning how to swim or 'billie' saying his first words cause i feel like it should be my kid in the pictures.

i'm at the age where people start wondering why you don't have kids. they wonder if something may be wrong with you or if you are just plain selfish because you want to put yourself first. 'don't worry, one day it will be your time' --is a phrase i hear frequently. i grew up mormon as well and the idea of family was seriously pushed into my head from a very young age too. being 32, unmarried and childless in that culture-talk about social suicide! socially it can become quite awkward if you don't have a kid & all your girlfriends are starting to have them. the ladies with kids do eventually flock together and hang out together because they have so much more to talk about. it's the same whole thing with family get together's & you start to wonder if you've become invisible. parents and future mother & father in laws start gravitating towards those who have given them the grandkids. call me crazy, but all of the above is true.

i guess at the core of all this is i don't want to be left out in life because i don't have a kid. i'm really really trying to learn to accept my life for what it is & that includes the fact that i'm not yet a mommy blogger/mommy/mom/mum/mother and that its ok. not everyone may be meant to be a mom and i've got to just find my own niche in this world. whether i will eventually have children {or whether i can even have them} i don't know, but everything in its proper time & place. whatever happens will happen & i'm going to promise myself i'm not going to worry or waste time anymore comparing myself or thinking of the what if's. the future is just that--the future & i've got way too much to share with this world in the meantime.