2.7.08

i'm not a mommy blogger

so i'm 32 years old and i'm not a mommy blogger or even a soon to be one. don't get me wrong i frequently stop by many that would fit into this type of thing { my favorites: *e*, pioneer woman & marta writes}. i enjoy reading about people's expected new arrivals, how their little ones lost a tooth or even mundane things like what a kid did or didn't eat for breakfast or how they just recently went through potty training. i like reading these {including many non mommy blogs too} cause yes, don't laugh- i enjoy reading about 'life' & i feel connected to the 'journey' others are taking {ya-da, ya-da} . but i guess part of me has felt bad sometimes when i'm reading about 'susie' learning how to swim or 'billie' saying his first words cause i feel like it should be my kid in the pictures.

i'm at the age where people start wondering why you don't have kids. they wonder if something may be wrong with you or if you are just plain selfish because you want to put yourself first. 'don't worry, one day it will be your time' --is a phrase i hear frequently. i grew up mormon as well and the idea of family was seriously pushed into my head from a very young age too. being 32, unmarried and childless in that culture-talk about social suicide! socially it can become quite awkward if you don't have a kid & all your girlfriends are starting to have them. the ladies with kids do eventually flock together and hang out together because they have so much more to talk about. it's the same whole thing with family get together's & you start to wonder if you've become invisible. parents and future mother & father in laws start gravitating towards those who have given them the grandkids. call me crazy, but all of the above is true.

i guess at the core of all this is i don't want to be left out in life because i don't have a kid. i'm really really trying to learn to accept my life for what it is & that includes the fact that i'm not yet a mommy blogger/mommy/mom/mum/mother and that its ok. not everyone may be meant to be a mom and i've got to just find my own niche in this world. whether i will eventually have children {or whether i can even have them} i don't know, but everything in its proper time & place. whatever happens will happen & i'm going to promise myself i'm not going to worry or waste time anymore comparing myself or thinking of the what if's. the future is just that--the future & i've got way too much to share with this world in the meantime.

9 comments:

Lori Ann said...

You are amazing and being a mommy is great, but enjoy where you are now. We struggled having kids and weren't sure if we would ever have them, most couples aren't married for ten years before their first. I love having a baby, and I wouldn't send him back for anything, but having been on both sides of the fence I will say just enjoy life, wherever it leads you!

Lori Ann said...

P.S. My kid had scrambled eggs for breakfast, didn't eat many but it was the first time he tried them.

Liz said...

I can completely relate, I am closing in on 41 and have never been married - came close about two years ago, but I called off the wedding when I discovered that he was an alcoholic and was addicted to painkillers, and have no regrets about not going through with marrying him.

I never wanted to have kids in my twenties and thirties, but the almost-wedding got me thinking that I do actually want to be a mother so this year I started the process of adopting as a single woman. And yes, some of my motivation is that "left-out" feeling I have when I am around my family and I am one of the only childless people in the room, but I am also motivated by wanting to do something meaningful with my life and I can't think of a better contribution to the world than raising a child.

Good luck with sorting out your own future!

marta said...

great post. i am honored to be among the (in my case) almost-a-mommy blogs you read! i truly think that no one can judge what another is going through.

timing is such an important thing and i believe it all happens in the right moment; for the right reasons. i am sorry you sometimes feel out of the loop and under appreciated, i think we all have those moments in life.

enjoy your life day by day as it comes. and don't feel that you have to own up to anyone else's expectations. only YOU know what is right for you!

xo.

Rebecca said...

I feel the same way sometimes, where it seems like I'm surrounded by women who have kids and I don't feel that I can relate and I feel left out. :( It's like a club that you can't be a part of because you don't have a child.

Then I remind myself how lucky I am to have this time with Clark alone - because kids take up A LOT of that time & they're around forever... or at least until your like 60. So, it's nice to cherish this time. We'll have kids when we're supposed to -- we have so much to learn until then!

Just know it's natural to feel that way - but remember you're not alone :)

sherrie said...

i guess people blog about their lives and when you have kids that automatically makes you a mommy blogger in some aspect. i know how you are feeling, believe me!

oh yeah i saw your parents at a lunch buffet when i was in washington. it was fun to see them!

Jonny's Mommy said...

I stumbled here from a Blogher link. Really interesting post and this is coming from a "mommy blogger" who never thought she would have kids. Some days it is so unreal to me that I do have a son and I guess that is why he ends up the topic of my posts so often. I try to write just about life in general though.

Would like to come back and explore your blog more. Hope that is OK.

And like some of the others who commented said: I think it is awesome that you are happy where you are right now.

Also, the bit about the parents gravitating toward the child who has the grandchildren. Yeah. It's true, but I don't think they even realize they are doing it. Maybe if they did, they would make up their mind to focus on their other children as well.

Again, great post.

christine said...

'Jonny's Mommy'--feel free to stop by anytime. New people are always welcome.

Thanks everyone for your comments about kids. Its easy to get caught up with this sometimes and its been on my mind for a really long time. But its like I've said--Everything in its proper place and as long as I'm happy in the meantime is what matters. :)

Angela said...

I just love the honesty and vulnerability of your posts. I hope someday you will be able to have your own child because you would be a great Mommy. But for now, enjoy your travels to exotic places around the world, your uninterrupted time with James, etc. Because us Mommy's are sure jealous of you! :)